The outbreak of coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19) may be stressful for people. Fear and anxiety about a disease can be overwhelming and cause strong emotions in adults and children. Coping with stress will make you, the people you care about, and your community stronger.

Identifying Stress

• Everyone reacts differently to stressful situations. How you respond to the outbreak can depend on your background, the things that make you different from other people, and  the community you live in.
• People who may respond more strongly to the stress of a crisis include:
  • Older people and people with chronic diseases who are at higher risk for COVID-19
  • Children and teens
  • People who are helping with the response to COVID-19, like doctors and other health care providers, or first responders
  • People who have mental health conditions including problems with substance use
• Stress during an infectious disease outbreak can include:
  • Fear and worry about your own health and the health of your loved ones
  • Changes in sleep or eating patterns
  • Difficulty sleeping or concentrating
  • Worsening of chronic health problems
  • Increased use of alcohol, tobacco, or other drugs

Reducing Stress in Yourself and Others

• Take breaks from watching, reading, or listening to news stories, including social media. Hearing about the pandemic repeatedly can be upsetting.
• Take care of your body. Take deep breaths, stretch, or meditate. Try to eat healthy, well-balanced meals, exercise regularly, get plenty of sleep, and avoid alcohol and drugs.
• Make time to unwind. Try to do some other activities you enjoy.
• Connect with others. Talk with people you trust about your concerns and how you are feeling.
• Call your healthcare provider if stress gets in the way of your daily activities several days in a row.
• Being Properly Informed
• Sharing the facts about COVID-19 and understanding the actual risk to yourself and people you care about can make an outbreak less stressful.
• When you share accurate information about COVID-19 you can help make people feel less stressed and allow you to connect with them.
• Learn more about taking care of your emotional health.

For Parents

Children and teens react, in part, on what they see from the adults around them. When parents and caregivers deal with the COVID-19 calmly and confidently, they can provide the best support for their children. Parents can be more reassuring to others around them, especially children, if they are better prepared.

• Not all children and teens respond to stress in the same way. Some common changes to watch for include:
  • Excessive crying or irritation in younger children
  • Returning to behaviors they have outgrown (for example, toileting accidents or bedwetting)
  • Excessive worry or sadness
  • Unhealthy eating or sleeping habits
  • Irritability and “acting out” behaviors in teens
  • Poor school performance or avoiding school
  • Difficulty with attention and concentration
  • Avoidance of activities enjoyed in the past
  • Unexplained headaches or body pain
  • Use of alcohol, tobacco, or other drugs
• There are many things you can do to support your child
  • Take time to talk with your child or teen about the COVID-19 outbreak. Answer questions and share factsabout COVID-19 in a way that your child or teen can understand.
  • Reassure your child or teen that they are safe. Let them know it is ok if they feel upset. Share with them how you deal with your own stress so that they can learn how to cope from you.
  • Limit your family’s exposure to news coverage of the event, including social media. Children may misinterpret what they hear and can be frightened about something they do not understand.
  • Try to keep up with regular routines. If schools are closed, create a schedule for learning activities and relaxing or fun activities.
  • Be a role model.  Take breaks, get plenty of sleep, exercise, and eat well. Connect with your friends and family members.
  • Learn more about helping children cope.

For Responders

Responding to COVID-19 can take an emotional toll on you. There are things you can do to reduce secondary traumatic stress (STS) reactions:

• Acknowledge that STS can impact anyone helping families after a traumatic event.
• Learn the symptoms including physical (fatigue, illness) and mental (fear, withdrawal, guilt).
• Allow time for you and your family to recover from responding to the pandemic.
• Create a menu of personal self-care activities that you enjoy, such as spending time with friends and family, exercising, or reading a book.
• Take a break from media coverage of COVID-19.
• Ask for help if you feel overwhelmed or concerned that COVID-19 is affecting your ability to care for your family and patients as you did before the outbreak.
• Learn more tips for taking care of yourselfduring emergency response.

For Those Released From Quarantine

Being separated from others if a healthcare provider thinks you may have been exposed to COVID-19 can be stressful, even if you do not get sick. Everyone feels differently after coming out of quarantine. Some feelings include:

• Mixed emotions, including relief after quarantine
• Fear and worry about your own health and the health of your loved ones
• Stress from the experience of monitoring yourself or being monitored by others for signs and symptoms of COVID-19
• Sadness, anger, or frustration because friends or loved ones have unfounded fears of contracting the disease from contact with you, even though you have been determined not to be contagious
• Guilt about not being able to perform normal work or parenting duties during quarantine
• Other emotional or mental health changes
• Children may also feel upset or have other strong emotions if they, or someone they know, has been released from quarantine. You can help your child cope

Resources

For Everyone

• If you, or someone you care about, are feeling overwhelmed with emotions like sadness, depression, or anxiety, or feel like you want to harm yourself or others call 911
• Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration’s (SAMHSA’s) Disaster Distress Helpline: 1-800-985-5990 or text TalkWithUs to 66746. (TTY 1-800-846-8517)
• Coping with a Disaster or Traumatic Event

For Communities

• Coping with stress during an infectious disease outbreakpdf iconexternal icon
• Taking Care of Your Behavioral Health during an Infectious Disease Outbreakexternal icon

For Families and Children

• Helping Children Cope with Emergencies
• Coping After a Disasterpdf icon– A Ready Wrigley activity book for children age 3-10

For First Responders

• Emergency Responders: Tips for taking care of yourself
• Disaster Technical Assistance Centerexternal icon(SAMHSA)

This information can be found at the CDC website:
https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/prepare/managing-stress-anxiety.html

I sat in my car, toddler whining in the backseat, downing the last sip of coffee in my cup, and dreading the moment to come: walking in the grocery store to see empty shelves and panicked people. Tears welled up in my eyes. I wanted to avoid the fear. Avoid the anxiety of seeing no food on the shelves. Avoid looking people in the eyes to see their panic too. Protect my toddler from all the chaos of the Coronavirus pandemic.

In this moment I realized I had a choice to make. The voices in my head could go down one of two paths:

Path #1- Self-Criticism: “Why is all of this happening? And why am I so afraid? I’m being such a sissy… Just pull it together. No one cares about your little complaints; there are a lot bigger problems out there. Put on a strong smile and fake it.”

Path #2- Self-Compassion: “Man, this really is tough. My feelings are valid, and I was not prepared for this situation. It’s even okay to cry a little bit; I’m sure other people can relate to how I’m feeling.  Just breathe for a moment; you don’t have to have it all together.”

The differences in these two examples of self-talk are drastic. Self-criticism leads to inner turmoil, increased anxiety, and thus greater relational tension; while self-compassion allows for a sense of inner wholeness and peace which can lead to healthier and more genuine connection with others.

Think for a moment about these 3 questions: 

1) How would you treat a close friend who is struggling? What words come to mind, what tone of voice do you use, and what body language would you portray?

2) How do you treat yourself when you are struggling? What words do you typically say to yourself and what is your inner tone of voice/body language?

3) Is there a difference?

For most of us, there is a stark difference. With a friend, we are quick to show understanding, empathize, and validate whatever challenges are present. We feel open to hearing whatever is going on, and show that we are willing to help. With ourselves, we are quick to cast judgment, brush struggles aside, and deal harshly with our weaknesses. We make little space for acknowledging our own pain, and even think something is wrong with us when we become aware of our frailties.

Think how different we would feel in times of hardship, if we treated ourselves with the same compassion that we show others?

Moreover, many people of faith feel shameful for having feelings such as fear, anger, or sadness. We tell ourselves things like- “If my faith is real, I wouldn’t be having this emotion right now. I should hide how I’m feeling so that other people don’t know how weak I am. I’m sure God wouldn’t want to hear about this feeling, either.”

Think how different we would feel if instead of hating and hiding away our frailties because we viewed them as wrong or sinful, we actually could embrace them because there is a loving God who cares for us when we are in pain? What if, rather than viewing our pain through the eyes of shame or criticism, we could remember that God’s compassionate character stands true even when I am weak? This is the idea of 2 Corinthians 1:3-4: “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of all compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” [emphasis added]

This is the powerful idea that counselors call self-compassion, or as I also like to say, channeling God’s compassion toward myself.

Dr. Kristin Neff, researcher and pioneer in the study of self-compassion, has given some helpful definitions of self-compassion, and outlined 3 elements of self-compassion and their antidotes. Here are some brief descriptions of each. Which category do you typically fall under when facing something challenging?

Definitions of Self-Compassion:

-Treating ourselves with the same kindness as we would a close friend

-Treating ourselves with the same quality of warmth, care, and concern as we would a close friend

- To “feel” compassionate towards ourselves as we do for others

Self-Compassion vs. Self-Criticism

What would it look like to begin softening your inner dialogue to sound more like compassion, rather than criticism? Perhaps this question raises some concern or anxiety within you, as it does for many. That little feeling of concern is welcome, too! What might your concern be?

Here are five common concerns regarding practicing self-compassion, and some research by Dr. Neff and Scriptures that may help ease your concerns:

Common concern: Self-compassion is weak; I’ll be a sissy if I talk “compassionately” to myself
Research: Self-compassion is actually one of the most powerful coping skills we have to increase our resilience in life

Common concern: Self-compassion will lead to laziness
Research: Self-compassion is actually correlated to increased levels of motivation because there is less fear of failure
Research: Self-compassion is actually linked to greater well-being because if you like yourself, you’ll take care of yourself

Common concern: Self-compassion will lead to decreased self-responsibility or I won’t learn from my mistakes
Research: Self-compassion is actually linked to increased self-responsibility because it is safe to admit mistakes and make genuine repairs

Common concern: Self-compassion is selfish
Research: Self-compassion is a key piece in sustaining compassionate relationships to others by helping reduce feelings of burn out
Research: Self-compassion is actually in itself an act of compassion for others, because our peaceful, loving state of mind is contagious!

Common concern: Self-compassion isn’t biblical
Scriptures: Part of Gods character is compassionate (Psalm 103:13, Psalm 116:5, Psalm 51:1, Psalm 145: 8-9)
Scriptures: Our Savior lived compassionately (Hebrews 4:15, Matthew 14:13-14, Matthew 20:30-34, Mark 6:34)
Scriptures: We are called to live compassionately (Colossians 3:12, Ephesians 4:32)
Scriptures: Self-condemnation is not biblical (Romans 8:1)

Though we will likely continue to face unknowns and anxiety during this pandemic, we do not have to do so without the power of compassion. We are invited to see ourselves as God sees us. We are invited to look at our weaknesses and unwanted feelings through the eyes of compassion. And I believe that as we do so, it will create an inner sense of peace and calm that will be as contagious as any virus could ever be.

I had such a great discussion with my Men’s group last week. (If you’re not in a small group , why not?!) Through the course of that conversation, I had some real eye-opening moments, and this is one of them.

I thought to myself, “I should really write a post about this; I’ll have to do that sometime.” But I know what that means -- there’s a good chance that it will never get done.

“I know! I’ll make myself some notes so that I can come back to it later, when I have time.” Of course, I’ve got gigabytes of great ideas that aren’t ever going to go anywhere because I’ll never just “have” time to do them. And here’s why:

Because the days are evil.

I know, that sounds harsh. But those aren’t my words; I found them in Ephesians 5:16. It says there that the days are evil ( pon?ros ), which means not just that the days are bad, but they are full of hardships and difficulties. The days - not just the daytime, but the whole period of 24 hours - are chock full of things that frustrate us, make us angry, fuel our sense of shame, and inspire us to bury our heads in denial or throw up our hands in disgust.

And so, if time just “shows up” for me to do something meaningful and fulfilling, there’s a good chance that I’m missing something else. Somewhere, a child is neglecting his homework. Some laundry is not getting folded - or maybe not even getting washed in the first place. A dinner isn’t getting made. A Zoom meeting is being missed. A long overdue conversation isn’t happening.

You get the point; even during this time of stay-at-home, issues of time don’t just resolve themselves. Real, genuine, productive things aren’t going to “just happen.”

“Well,” you may be thinking, “they kind of are. I know more about my co-workers family than I ever did before because now, when we’re on Zoom, I’m seeing their kids jump around in superhero costumes in the background - and now I know their lives are just as chaotic as mine. And we’ve had dinner as a family almost every night these past few weeks, and we couldn’t make that happen for years. And I’ve seen my sisters more digitally in the past two weeks than I have in person in months....”

Okay, I’ll give you that. If we’re honest, most of us are having at least some experiences that we didn’t really plan or create, but we look back at them and say, “that was a happy accident; why didn’t I do this before?” But, I’ll wager, for every one of those things, we’ve got several other things that we’re not doing, that we feel we should be doing, that we can’t seem to start doing (or our family refuses to help us with) that would make our lives better, easier, or more productive.

And, since we’re being honest here, I’ll bet there are also a whole bunch of things that, if we stopped doing them, we would be able to do many of those things that we believe we should start doing. (But, hey, Netflix is not going to binge itself.) But that’s the point:

This is a good time for me to reconsider what I’m doing with my time.

Paul wrote that we should, “consider carefully how you live” (Ephesians 5:15a NET). If I’m considering something carefully, it isn’t an afterthought or a task I can perform while multitasking. Considering carefully requires my undivided attention and intention.

Be Intentional

“Taking advantage” or “making the most” of every opportunity means seizing opportunities when they arise. We can’t just let them pass us by. But it also means creating opportunities by thinking about and planning how we are going to use our time wisely.

That makes sense, and this is the point in the conversation when I begin telling myself that I should be doing things that I’m not doing, and then I start feeling a little guilty about it. But, here’s the thing:

Feeling guilty doesn’t change anything.

It feels bad to feel guilty, but that, in and of itself, is just wasted time and energy... unless we actually do something about that feeling. “Sadness as intended by God,” (or “Godly sorrow” in the NIV) as Paul calls it in 2 Corinthians 7:10, leads to “repentance to salvation, which brings no regret.” So, if I’m feeling guilty and I don’t use that to bring about a change, I’m wasting that time, which will likely lead to even more guilt and regret. If you’re feeling guilty, don’t ignore it. Do something. Take action.

If you don’t, there’s a good chance that, eventually, compounding guilt will become shame. And, guess what? Shame doesn’t change anything, either. In fact, shame just causes us to feel worse about ourselves, and that causes us to have even less energy and motivation to take action.

So, if you’re reading this and you’ve got some guilt about some things you need to change, I want to encourage you to start making that change. Don’t just decide to make a change (eventually) - because deciding to do something doesn’t make it happen, either. You know what makes change happen?

Change. Doing something - even little things - begins a course of change.

If you’re looking for some good places to start, stay tuned to this space; we’ll post suggestions every once in a while. And, here’s the first one:

Prayer and Supplication

In Philippians 4, Paul tells us to, “not be anxious about anything” (6a).

OK; thanks, Paul. Isn’t that kind of like saying, “don’t look down?” That feels obvious and unhelpful at the same time. But Paul keeps going; he says, instead of being anxious about whatever-you’re-anxious-about - if you find yourself being anxious, let that anxiety be a reminder to you to take action: “through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, tell your requests to God” (6b).

So that seems like a good place to start; for some of us, in some seasons of our lives, it feels pointless to “just pray about it” - but remember this: when you’re struggling to take action, even a little action in the right direction is better than no action at all. Paul’s prescription here is not to just pray, but to petition - which means being very direct and clear with what you’re requesting - and to surround your requests with thanksgiving - not just thanking God for what he will do, but, also, for what he has done. And for who he is. Thanksgiving might be a struggle in this season, but it is important.

And, of course, it might be helpful to remember what Paul says will happen if you follow his advice:

“...the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:7).

God's peace, and his protection of our hearts and our minds, is exactly what we need when our worries, concerns and anxieties are overwhelming our senses. In John 14:27, Jesus promised peace - real peace, his peace - to his disciples, then he said, " Do not let your hearts be distressed or lacking in courage."

"Distressed" in Greek is tarass? , and it means to agitate or stir up something by the movement of its parts, like the rolling and tumbling of boiling water. If you've never watched water boil, you should do that.

Go ahead.

I'll wait.

In fact, I'll make it easy for you: http://bit.ly/2V6BeSt

Fascinating, right? Did you notice how the rolling boil starts? Just a few bubbles. Just a blip here and there. But those few bubbles become a few more, and a few more, until the entire pot is rolling and tumultuous.

Jesus and Paul aren't telling us that our feelings don't matter. They aren't saying that our fears and anxieties are unimportant or that we should just ignore them or push them down and deny them. Nor are they telling us to muster ourselves and overcome our fears by our own will. Neither of them are even suggesting that we should be able to conquer our own fears.

Instead, very explicitly, they are telling us to lean on God’s strength and character by being obedient to his gentle calling, and he will respond. He will draw near (James 4:8) and provide us with his peace, which, by the way, surpasses all understanding and, at the same time, makes all the difference in the world.

So, take action:

In this moment or season, what do you need from God? Be specific, honest, and vulnerable with him. He can take it.

What has God done for you that you can be thankful for?

Finally, what characteristics of God are you most thankful for right now?

These are quite uncertain and different times that we are living in, right? One of the biggest ways to calm your system down in a crisis is to develop a routine. You have been used to a routine and your brain has mapped and walked that routine daily for some time now. When we put a wrench in that foundation, we are basically taking away familiar resources that kept us thriving, living with purpose, and connected.

Here are the most important elements that you need to have in a routine:

To help you move along your day, here are the 7 questions to ask yourself.

• How am I spending time with God today?
• How am I moving and getting outside?
• How am I getting quiet to listen to myself today?
• How am I connecting today?
• What am I grateful for today?
• What am I creating today?
• What am I learning today?

Along with these questions, below is an example of a schedule you can use to add a little structure to your day during The Great Covid19 Hunker Down of 2020.

7 AM: Daily Time with God (Quiet Time) - Start your day with your greatest resource: Time with God. Spend some time reading the Bible, praying, and listening to God. If you're new to reading the Bible, here's a great video from Pastor Tim discussing how to have an encouraging time with God. You can also use one of these two great reading plans: Our Daily Bread and Bible in One Year. Spending time with God daily is not only transformational, it is also a great model for you children. 

8 AM: Morning Routine & Prayer - As you're getting dressed, making your bed, and having breakfast, thank God for all He has provided. If you have kids under two, we know you’ve already been up for five hours. Or if they are teens, you may have 5 more hours of them asleep. Just play along. The key is to take some time to give thanks as you get ready. 

9 AM: Get Moving - Grab a light jacket, an umbrella, or whatever else you need and get outside! Take the dog for a walk or ride your bike. The fresh air will do you good. Research shows that not only is movement helpful for your physical body, but movement can help chase away those overwhelming feelings of loneliness, purposeless, and lack of control.

10 AM: Academics & Learning Time - The “academic” portion of our brain deeply desires to learn new things. Kids aren’t the only ones that need to learn. When we learn new things, it stimulates our minds in a new way and generates this joy of living and growing. If you have kids, check out these free resources available during COVID-19 to help. Check this out for some fun brain break ideas or just take 5 outside. You can find more resources and activities for kids on our Children's Resource page.

12 PM: Lunch time!

1 PM: Creative Time - Even when we get our schedule flowing, at the end of the day we may feel like we just “got through the day.” But if we have a sense of purpose, it elevates our experience and makes us feel like there is meaning…that I am using my gifts even in this new found rhythm. So get creative on how to use your gifts and how to grow and stretch yourself during this time. For children and students, we will be sending out a daily challenge that everyone can participate in every Tuesday and Friday. We'll upload them to the Hill Country Children and Hill Country Students Facebook and Instagram at 10 am.

2 PM: Rest & Quiet Time - Whether we are alone in a home or a house full of people, we all need this idea of quiet, calm time where we turn off all the distractions and just center ourselves. It’s like hitting a reset button or powering our phones off and on when things get jammed. In this time, check in with yourself to see how you are doing. Get to know yourself a bit and take care of yourself.

3 PM: Daily Chores - Your mom was right. An Indiana University study proved that people with clean houses were more physically active than those with untidy homes. So, grab a mop and get everyone in on the cleaning act. Fun tip: Set a timer and start a cleaning race with your kids.

4 PM: Neighboring & Connect - Text, call, or find a creative way to connect with your neighbors and extended family each day. You could also offer your help in delivering paper towels, food, or any other supplies to elderly neighbors or others at greater risk. This is our opportunity to be the church and serve those in our community.

5 PM: Free Play

6 PM: Dinner & Devotional - This is a great time for you and the whole family to connect and debrief the day. It's also an opportunity for a family devotional and gratefulness. We have some conversation starters and gratitude activities for you below.

7 PM: Game Time! - You’ve worked hard, so grab a board game, and enjoy a little friendly competition. Need ideas for games? Ask every member of the family to put a few ideas in a bowl and pick one each night.

Bed Time! - You made it! As you’re getting ready for bed, thank God for the gift of rest.

Download Graphic of the Schedule

Dinner Conversation Ideas!