RITE OF PASSAGE
Recommended for ages 16+
Give a Vision for Adulthood
What is a Rite of Passage?
A Rite of Passage is a special event signifying a transition from one stage to another. This is an ideal time to affirm and help your child anticipate and prepare to accept God’s plan for the future. Challenge your teen to leave behind the world of childhood and invite them into the ranks of emerging adulthood.
Raising Your Child in a God- Honoring Home
How to do a Rite of Passage
It is less important how you plan your child’s Rite of Passage than that you plan it. Some families host a simple dinner with family and close friends. Others do something more elaborate such as a road-trip adventure with various stops. Decide and plan what works best for your teen and your situation.
STEP ONE: CREATE A PLAN
Create a plan to make this a meaningful experience. Read one of the recommended resources for more ideas or utilize the Rite of Passage Planning Guide provided with this kit. A small investment of thought and effort will mean a great deal to your son or daughter.
STEP TWO: INVITE PEOPLE
Invite people who have had an impact in your teen’s life and/or whom they respect. Give each person a specific topic on which he or she will speak or write a letter. Some topics may include work, marriage, integrity, faith, purity, family, etc.
STEP THREE: MAKE IT EASY
Make it easy for others to participate by providing them with recommended wording for their talk or letter in order to help them avoid becoming nervous or attending ill-prepared.
RITE OF PASSAGE PLANNING GUIDE
Even the most simple rite of passge experience can have a powerful impact in your teen’s life. Ask yourself the following questions to plan the best approach for your son or daughter.
ASSESS
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Is our relationship strong enough for the experience to feel authentic vs. forced?
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Does my child have other adults in his/her life who have had enough influence to participate in such an experience?
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Does my teen show signs he/she is willing to move toward adult responsibillites and attitudes?
If you answer “no” to any of these questions, it might be better to plan a special dinner alone together to begin meaningful dialouge rather than attempt the full rite of passage experience.
WHEN
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What day is best to make this event special? On a birthday? On a holiday? As a special day of its own?
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What date would work best for those who might need to travel to participate?
WHO
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What relatives should participate? (Grandparent? Respected aunt or uncle? Older brother or sister?)
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Is the child close to a pastor, youth minister, teacher or coach he/she respects?
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If you are not planning the event as a surprise, invite your teen to suggest who he/she would like to be included.
HOW
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Would your child prefer a formal event or casual experience? What would be a good setting for the event? (The house? Grandparent’s home? A favorite restaurant? The church? A park?)
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What kind of fun activity would your child enjoy doing with the older men or women before the formal portion of the event? (For example, a teen boy might enjoy going golfing or visiting a shooting range while a girl might prefer shopping or tennis.)
PRACTICAL IDEAS
GIVING A BLESSING
It is very important that parents use this milestone to give a blessing, usually in the form of a letter affirming the teen’s potential and expressing gratitude for his or her life. For more on the power and process of giving a blessing, review the Blessing kit or Blessing step on myfaithpath.com.
GIVE A VISION FOR THE FUTURE
Take time to provide direction for the future. Cast vision and direct your child in seeking the Lord as they enter a season of significant decisions that will impact the future.
GIVE A GIFT
Consider purchasing or making something to give your teen during this time. It doesn’t need to be extravagant. It is more important that it serve as a tangible keepsake of the event that your child can hold on to for years to come. Ideas include a piece of jewelry, a book of letters/blessings, a sword for guys or a crown for girls.
SET THE STAGE
The Rite of Passage event serves as an opportunity to set a new tone for the changing relationship with your child. Your role is changing from primarily teacher to mostly coach as he or she accepts the new freedoms and responsibilities that accompany young adulthood. Let your child know that you will be there to help him or her work through the challenges and navigate the landmines as they take ownership for choices and a future walk with God. Plan to create intentional one-on-one times to connect and keep the lines of communication open over the coming months and years.
HELPFUL TOOLS
Take advantage of these resources as you begin the habit of prayer with your child.
Toward Biblical Manhood Toward Biblical Womanhood
Raising a Modern Day Knight The Intentional Father
YOUR CHILD'S NEXT STEP
As children get older, they become ready for additional steps along Milestones. Set a calendar reminder for your child’s next birthday to return to this page to select their next step. Thank you for becoming intentional about guiding your child’s faith journey!
